Given the numerous books and articles written about our use of technology, it is possible you have given some time to consider the time you devote to a screen. I admit, as a new father, there is an increased sense of awareness about my personal use of technological devices, not to mention my desire to raise children who are wise and responsible. As I check email on my phone, I can feel the tug of a 9th month-old on my pant leg saying, ‘Pick me up daddy!’ There is also that double take one does when they see their child look at a screen for the first time, baby eyes hypnotized—body immobilized—by the images set before them. Those innumerable, pressing questions roam freely in the mind: What am I communicating to my child by the objects of my attention? Albeit I cannot control my child’s future, how might I best train them to be thoughtful, articulate, and wise? What are the principles that should guide our family practice when it comes to screens?
Some of you may have had an opportunity to read The Tech-Wise Family by Andy Crouch. Only a few years old, this book offers an accessible resource for anyone wanting to examine their personal use of technology. While its contents are primarily geared toward the family, it does function as a helpful resource for anyone, irrespective of their stage or station of life. Though his agenda may be more radical than you might feel comfortable adopting for your family, Crouch is not out to discredit technology altogether. He certainly is not wanting to equate technology with evil. Additionally, he is not so much concerned with developing a step-by-step program or writing a how-to on specific devices, apps, or social media platforms.
Rather, as he states it, his goal is “to find the proper place for technology in our family lives—and how to keep it there.” (16) As I read the book, Crouch seems to be trying to communicate that there is a beauty and excellence that may be found in life apart from technology—or at least apart from the saturation of technology. It is really a vision for life that serves as the content of the book. The premise of this vision for life is that the family, in Crouch’s estimation, “is about the forming of persons … family helps form us into persons who have acquired wisdom and courage.” (52-53) These two attributes, wisdom and courage, constitute the theme that he will revisit throughout his book. What does it take to form wisdom and courage into children? Crouch’s book proposes ten tech-wise commitments for himself and his family. These commitments do not trash technology altogether, but serve to help them put it in its proper place.
Certainly, we must admit that in varying degrees of awareness, we subscribe to some vision of life that we have for ourselves and our family. We strive toward some goal of what we deem to be worthy. And, of course, what we consume visually and attentional-ly function to create and recreate that vision that we might have for our lives. Commercials make a pitch to us, showing us what our lives might be like if we had ‘x.’ Though many have dumped on the notion of convenience, it is true that in society we have adopted convenience as a virtue toward the good life. Skills or opportunities that we must strive toward become increasingly less appetizing when you can get ‘more with less.’ Our technology affords us many things. Even so, it does have the effect of shaping our vision of how to live — not merely in the content we view, but also in the process of the use of the technology itself. Crouch’s book is a helpful resource placing before us a vision of life that might be had apart from an improper place of technology.
As I read the beginning of the book, I could not help but reflect on the forward to The Tech-Wise Family. It was actually written by Andy’s daughter, who, at the time, was about 16 years of age (I believe). As you read, you get the sense that the writer is articulate and competent to construct a succinct, informative preface. Assuming that you value the skill of writing, you might wonder, ‘How is it that she was able at 16 to write a pithy, well-ordered introduction to this book?’ Aside from being Andy’s daughter, the reader cannot help but think of the contributing factors of their family values. How did their vision towards family help shape her as a writer? Crouch jokes about their Amish approach. “Here’s an example of that almost-almost-Amish approach: We chose not to have a TV at all in our house until our children reached double digits. But we did buy that pretty sweet TV I mentioned when my daughter was ten. Eighteen months later, a friend who knew of our unusual lifestyle emailed me to ask how adding a TV was turning out. ‘Amy,’ I asked, ‘how has having a TV changed our lives?’ She barely looked up from the book she was reading and said vaguely, ‘Do we have a TV?’ (30-31)
He certainly goes in for the hard sell. His proposals, of course, run against the grain of—well—most everyone. At bare minimum, however, he will help you consider your own practices in the use of your screens. Any writer would be hard pressed to propose a technological-elimination argument. Andy certainly does not do that. Technology affords us so much. We especially think of medical technology and the advances we have made to improve our quality of living, and dying.
I can think of a friend I had in college. During our freshmen year, her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Beyond receiving the blessings of advances in medical care, her family would gather weekly—as her and her siblings were out of the house—for their family ritual around a specific TV show. It was a tradition for their family. And it actually became a special time for them, a specific point in time during the week for which they would gather and enjoy time with one another. A screen brought them together and they blocked off that anchor point during their week. I can still remember my friend guarding that time with her family and her mom, without reluctance turning down opportunities to hang out with friends. She was careful to reserve that time as she knew full well she had limited opportunities with her mother.
Looking at Crouch’s points, however, he does help us consider, or even reconsider, what our vision is for yourself and your family. Arguably, as opposed to the story about my friend, much of our use of technology serves to place walls between the family relationship. The tend to divide rather than unite. We do well to live an examined life. What do you hope to teach your children? Maybe we might ask, who do want to help teach your children? What do the things they (and you) consume train them to be?
As I think about what I consume and its impact on me personally, I am reminded of the vision-shaping function of Scripture. As one of my favorite texts, Psalm 1 tells us that we ought to continually place its vision of life before ourselves: “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law he meditates day and night.” By day and night, the author is saying that the blessed man is one who sets before himself God’s Word consistently. He has a steady diet of the Lord’s work and the Lord’s desires. Such a practice regularly sets before us a vision of life that will far exceed anything that we could dream up on our own, or see on a screen.
Andy Crouch, The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2017).